Strange dogs

Years ago I watched in horror as my dog decided to run across a very busy 4 lane road.

To my amazement there were no screeching of breaks, no sickening bump and no maimed dog to pick up from the tar.

You can say that some four legged angels watched over him that day…. Lucky mangy cur!

It made me realise though that things like this can happen so quickly and I needed to find a way to stop any dog of mine from emBARKing on such a potential suicide mission again.

Since then I’ve trained all my dogs to SIT at any road and wait for my signal of CLEAR before running over. It took a lot of dried sausage, some major alpha dog posturing and perseverance – but eventually every single dog of ours did it.

Of course it provided for some funny entertainment along the way. Its hysterical to watch them run up and down the side walk, plonking their asses down every couple of centimetres and huffing and puffing in indignation because nobody wants to give them the CLEAR command to cross the road. My friend once took them for a walk as a favour and when he came back he was fuming! Apparently the only way he could get the dogs to cross the road was to pick each one up and carry them over. According to him – my dogs were all possessed! Oops! I forgot to tell him about the CLEAR command.

When my sister’s puppy arrived – I started the same training with her. This unfortunately kicked off in the middle of winter while it was still dark and freezing every morning and every night. You know those days right? It’s when the wind is howling, the rain is lashing down and no amount of coaxing will unlock any dog’s butt. And the rule is… no POOP no going back to a nice warm house!

My sister’s puppy is a bit of a strange breed. It has the long elongated body and short legs of a Sausage Dog and the sturdy body and big head of a Jack Russell. So basically she looks like a little tank with an extremely low chassis!

Now I will admit to a certain amount of night blindness. Every time the two of us got to a road – I would say SIT and then put my hand under her butt to see if she was indeed sitting and then off we went with the CLEAR command. This was basically done because she was so low to the ground you couldn’t really see whether she was sitting or standing.

Now with Summer drawing closer, we can finally see on our night and morning walks! While twilight still reigned supreme, I kept on thinking to myself that this dog is sitting VERY strangely. When it became lighter – I kept on staring at her confusedly because I became more and more convinced that something was indeed seriously wrong.   When people started pointing at us and laughing – I realised that I was not imagining it!

I asked her to sit again and then looked at her from the side and then the penny dropped…..

She wasn’t sitting – she was doing a bizarre Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon impression!

Was she doing this because I kept on putting my hand on her to see if she was sitting down?  But I never pushed down – I just gently patted – so what started this bizarre behaviour?  I swear I’m forever cursed to never have a normal animal in my house – EVER!

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Am I allowed to laugh?

This is a message I got from my 76 year old mum who is in hospital at the moment trying to deal with losing yet another piece of her colon to cancer and learning how to operate a new phone at the same time.

Gotto love the human spirit!!!

Mum is doing well as can be and is currently on soft foods to get the intestines to work again.  Progress is slow – but good!!!!

Women’s month…. blah!

As a woman I’m getting pretty darn irritated with all the rah-rah that go with women’s month.

Suddenly its as if every corporation out there wakes up and tries to show everybody their upliftment program geared at women.

Am I allowed to go blllrrrrttttttttt?

Is it politically correct or socially acceptable to show how much I find this posturing and effort done on our behalf as nothing more than just window dressing?

As a woman in Technology – I live the cultural and social discrimination every day… whether it is conscious, entirely deliberate or just plain ignorance.

The fact of the matter is that I’m not a bra burner.  Not just because gravity is a beatch – but because the more aggressive we become in our fight to be accepted as any man’s equal – the more we show our differences for men to parade around as the very reason for their discriminative actions.

Truth be told – I have no aspirations to become anybody’s equal… be this in female form or as a technologist. 

I prefer to celebrate my uniqueness as a person whether I go through life with a set of ovaries or a set of balls (which quite frankly I can rival any day).

I stopped being apologetic or ashamed of being a woman a very very long time ago.  Instead I live every day with a determination to make it memorable and to do whatever I do WELL.

My world is a lot bigger than just the perceived restrictions civilization puts on us … or even worse… the restrictions we place on ourselves.

If you have no restrictions you will have no limits because there are no boundaries to stop you.

Listening to the Lecturers today and hearing the reactions from the women DID HOWEVER make me realise that not everybody out there has the coping mechanism to flip a bird and challenge the testosterone filled assumptions and discriminations we as women face.

So I will grudgingly admit that these conferences are necessary for some, however I’m not going to go anymore.  Instead I’m going to motivate and insist that each and every man that is guilty of this practise go to them and listen to what these women have to say.

In other words… I’m not going to allow them to preach to the converted anymore – but will now put my foot down and force the guilty to go and learn and experience empathy with the very women they push down with their derogatory actions.

As for me…  I will continue to challenge perceptions and prove male chauvinists wrong by my very actions because why should I not do the very thing that comes naturally to me.

Smile and prove to the world that you are a person to be reckoned with – no matter your race, your religion, your sex, your culture or your appearance. 

Step out of your box and recycle it before somebody else can be placed in it.

Now…  I’m off to do some retail therapy and find a Sushi place close to the Protea Wanderers Hotel…  after all – a girl has to have her priorities right… not so ladies?

75 Year Cell Phone User

I finally separated my dear old mum and her trusty old cell phone from each other. 

 After much recriminations, wailing, tearing of clothes and dire threats of putting me up for adoption – she finally succumbed to pressure and bade a tearful goodbye to her faithful Nokia of many many MANY years.

 So over the weekend I handed her her new Nokia C6 cellphone and showed her some of the functions.

 Since then the two Teenagers showed her even more….

 MISTAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!

 Big bloody mistake!

 Last night my poor old Dad complained bitterly because the old lady sat with that phone the whole day happily posting on her facebook page, uploading photos, MMSing to everybody and playing around with the profiles.

 We’ve created a monster!

 Who would have thought that a 75 year old geriatric would become such a techno-junky at such a ripe old age?

 Now if only she would stop sending me photographs of herself making rude gestures involving two of her arthritic old fingers!

*groan*

 At this rate – NO blooming old age home will EVER take her!

Heaven help me!

Cape Town is simply stunning!

Can one ever get used to being surrounded by something so beautiful that you end up becomming used to it?

Taking those special things in your life for granted is the one thing I guard against jealously like crazed Magpie with separation issues.

I might be so busy that I don’t have time for simple things like spoiling myself by reading my favourite blogs, but I will NEVER get too busy to take a couple of moments each day to unwind while I take in the beauty of my surroundings and the wonder that is Cape Town.

Last night my view was this….

“Sailing off into the Sunset” becomes real

 

This morning – my view is this

Fragrant cup of tea and beautiful scenery to start the morning… THAT’S LIFE!

Am I loving where I work or what!!!!!

I might not enjoy the job because its busy killing me – but at least I can balance it by being part of the miracle of nature every day that I am here.

Oh and to all you landlubbers out there… don’t hate us because we live here…

*giggle*

Unusual Angles… Sideview’s weekend challenge…

 

Have you ever noticed how a photograph can reflect our viewpoints in life?

When we take a picture many of us frame the subject squarely into the centre of the pic. Some of us though prefer to take a different angle to capture the thing that fascinates us the most…. the soft line of a jaw, the elegant arch of a neck, the stark contrast of colours…

And then there are the few who take unusual angles often with jaw dropping results.

A friend once said to me that he thinks that some people are just lucky to be at the right place at the right time…. But then that very friend’s wife took a photograph with him standing right next to her because she could see an opportunity when he couldn’t….

Are some of us programmed to view things only from one perspective?

Its even more fascinating when you realize that we do the exact same thing when participating in an argument.

We take the angle we are the most comfortable with and never even BEGIN to explore the different, the unusual and the uncommon angles waiting quietly on the sidelines for us to notice them.

Few of us can actually see the different angles, the rare viewpoints and the insightful approaches to the pivotal subject that becomes the centre piece like the proverbial elephant in a staid and stoic room.

To me this is quite sad because we are literally closing our minds to all other possibilities.

Often I will quietly sit in a corner and listen to a developing argument and be saddened beyond measure when neither participant appears to be willing to change the angle of their argument just that tiny little bit. If we live the life of the person we are arguing with just for a day… wouldn’t that make us look at our subject from THEIR angle?

And what about the quirky, the eccentric and the original individuals who take the unusual angles that we all constantly miss on our daily paths?

Having a conversation with them is like take a roller-coaster ride into the House of Fun with neon skeletons jumping up at you from every corner, slimy bony hands touching you out of the darkness and fanciful characters appearing out of nowhere to make you jump.

You NEVER know what awaits you and every encounter is exciting leaving you panting for more….

People like this can see things from outside our normal perspectives while creating innumerable possibilities for us to explore. Kind of a wake-up call from the warm comfortable cocoon we wrap ourselves in for protection.

The human race is a shy bunch taught by years of evolutionary indoctrination that we must be careful, we must conform and we must walk the path laid out for us by those that have gone before us.

If only we had the willingness to explore the unusual angles of our own lives and the lives of those we come into contact with….

So next time you take a photo, change the angle just ever so slightly. Go down onto your stomach if you must, crawl into bushes if you have to, climb on top of skyscrapers if you need to….

Do what ever it takes to change the angle so that you can widen your perspective just that tiny little bit…. More will follow!

Unusual angles…. Try it!

I found the pictures on this site – go and take a look!!!

 

Playing catch-up….

Apologies for going absent  – but unfortunately work, work and more work has a nasty habit of interfering with my life!

 

As you can see – I still haven’t won the lotto which means that I’m still not spending hours of free time in coffee shops where I could happily fill in my sudoku and laugh at the poor sods who have to work for a living.  Instead I’m sitting in coffee shops between appointments, filling out my sudoku and feeling absurdly ecstatic for having ten whole minutes to myself….  Sad sad sad SAD!

 

I’m trying to introduce my sister’s eldest girl to blogging and I’m hoping to have a blog up and running for her soon.  She is a budding photographer from Australia and wants to stretch her wings a bit.  She is a beautiful 19 year old with a sharp wit and brilliant mind.  Please watch this space……

 

Now lets catch up on Chloe the puppy that nearly become just another unwanted dog thrown away by uncaring humans.  She has turned into a naughty, inquisitive and happy little puppy!  Everything that you would expect from a toddler!  If only people would remember that when they go through these stages and remember that at the end of this a devoted friend and companion will emerge who will stand by your side through sick and sin.  But until then – you will always be one shoe short, socks that mysteriously disappear, having friends over who constantly haul your bras out from under chairs and tables, put up with dead electrical appliances when they chew through the cables, little puddles for you to step in, suffer from serious sleep deprevation when they want to play at 2 in the morning and put up with puncture wounds in your hands and feet while they lose their baby teeth.

 

But then nature gave them cute little faces, clumsy little bodies and floppy ears so that you heart can melt while they grow out of this stage!

 

It takes a hard person to resist them at this stage….

 

Like any toddler she runs around like a demented energizer bunny - only to pass out in a couple of seconds while her body and mind recharges for the next attack on our poor nerves!

 

 

Falling asleep in my arms with my hair as her blanket seems to be her favourite place at the moment....

 

 

Play with me dammit - or your shoes will get it!

 

Orange and pink together? And they say DOGS are colourblind.... harumph!

 

I will NOT go out in this outfit - and you can't make me!

 

Time for my beauty sleep again.... I use this time to dream up all the bratty things I'm about to unleash upon you poor unsuspecting humans!

More than a week ago I decided to move a couch up some stairs with one of my techies.  Unfortunately he is 6.2 and I am 5.4.  Do the maths!

The result is a badly hurt hand that got mangled between the couch and a door frame.  I bruised the muscles quite badly and cracked some “carpal” bone…  Have no idea what the hell it does or why humans have them, but until I find out its function I’m putting up with a wrist that don’t want to bend, fingers that don’t want to move like they should and a greeny-blue-yellow bruise circling my whole hand.  I have a wrist guard while it heals, but its so damn uncomfortable that I keep on taking it off… 

 

(It’s a good thing my doctor don’t know that I blog)

 

 

Looks like I decked somebody huh?

OK – let me stop boring all you nice people and get my butt back to work! 

 

Have a great day and stunning evening!

 

I’m a heathen…

I must be a heathen because I haven’t been beamed up by the great Scotty in the sky.  Damn!  I was looking forward to the rest…. 😦

 
Happiness is… Tea, Kakuro and five minutes to myself.

The elections are now over and I’m trying to wade through all the paperwork threatening to smother me….  Why is it that every single project that I get involved in has oodles and oodles of crappy documentation that needs to be filled in in triplicate, signed, authorised, stamped and stapled to my forehead?

But enough moaning!

My team excelled themselves…. AS USUAL!

I was born under a lucky star because I’m part of a group of people that will move mountains to make a project work.  These are the guys that I can take to war with me because they will fight tooth and nail to win. 

I look at the other teams around me and I worry about their inhouse fighting and their lack of faith in each other.  Very little cohesive team spirit exists.  If I was their Manager, I would try and fix THAT important aspect first before I witch-hunted the reason for some of their failures.

But enough about them – let me rather brag about the guys in my team.

They innovated where solutions appeared impossible, they made life easy where problems appeared insurmountable and they did it all with a smile!  After 61 hours of NO SLEEP, they still managed to make me laugh.

LIKE I SAID – THE BEST TEAM IN THE WORLD!

But let me go now before the stack of paper on my desk shifts and buries me under the masses of red tape ruling my world right now….

*sad wave goodbye*

Its a sad world when this spaghetti junction makes more sense to me than most people… *wink*

Election mania….

We are working ourselves into a standstill at the moment getting everything ready for the local elections.

On Friday I used the network infrastructure needed at the Results Centre as an excuse to train all our Interns on how to make network cables.  The male Interns were laughing at the females because they were taking twice as long to finish their cables.  But when we tested all the cables – ALL the ladies’ ones were working and only TWO of the macho he-men ones were working.

GO GIRL POWER!

Of course it would have been advisable at this point to take the more mature route and not tease them about it….. unfortunately I’m NOT very mature and so  I poked fun at their macho preconceptions for the rest of their shift.

Life can be SUCH fun sometimes… *grin*

It has always been a source of fascination to me that their are so many varied and bizarre perceptions about people based on their sex, race, age, religion or looks.  Often we find ourselves stuffed into little boxes that we don’t belong in because that is where people put us.  Some of us break out and expand our wings, but unfortunately most remain where we are put like good little boys and girls.  What a sad waste… 

 As usual I had nowhere to plonk my sorry behind down while trying to work on my reports, answer my emails and supervise the installations and so I ended up on the floor…. ONCE AGAIN! 

Trying to be a lady in this job is just too damn hard!

Check out the Skater Shoes!   Of course it doesn’t fit in with my age – but then I refuse to stay in the box marked OLD!  They are comfortable, they are fun and I LOVE the skulls on it!

As with all productions – I immediately made friends with the most important person on the site! 

THE TEA LADY!

She took one look at my sad Basset Hound face, saw how I was being abused by my team and promptly brought me a cup of tea!  For the rest of the day she took me under her wing, called me “My Little Tea Pot” and brought me copious amounts of tea and biscuits.  MUCH to the disgust of the Techies.

I love it that life sometimes has a way of balancing itself out!

Now let me get back to work before I am tempted to go and read blogs and forget about work waiting still to be done.

Sorry I haven’t visited yet – hopefully I will get to read the backlogs by this weekend when the election circus dies down.

Have a great day – and for of you who are in South Africa… VOTE!  I worked too damn hard for you just to take the day off and not get to the voting stations… gggrrr!

Just edit us out as if we don’t exist…

Now you see her…

Now you don’t!

Where’s Hilary?
And where’s the female aid in the background?

Why have they been taken out?

Because the Editors of the Hasidic newspaper will not intentionally include any image of women in their paper because it can be seen as being sexually suggestive.  This is according to Rabbi Jason Miller.

Then what about the fact that they are tampering with an official photograph released by the White House?   This photograph was taken when the White House was briefed about the Osama Bin Laden shootings.  In other words – its historical… so why are they tampering with the historical facts?

I would never break down somebody’s religion – but when a woman can only be seen as a sexually suggestive icon and not for who and what she is then I worry that the wrong emphasis is yet again being placed on the female of the species.

The male appears not to be held accountable for his own actions nor are they expected to see women for their intrinsical value.  Instead many religions and cultures negate the female to a sexual object that needs to be covered or sequestered.

Can we rape ourselves?
Can we make ourselves pregnant?

It appears to be better to just lock us away and throw away the key so that the men can’t be “led astray” by the Jezebels of this world. After all… its for our own protection…. right?

What a frightening concept that we need to shoulder the blame for the sins of this world for ever and ever AMEN!